I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
