Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
