Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
