so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
