Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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