They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
