So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
