i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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