I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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