so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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