Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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