You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
