I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
