i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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