I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
pray to the hookup gods
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
