I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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