i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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