is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So much rum. So many feels.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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