ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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