i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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