She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
