I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We need a shit load of segways right now
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
