Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
