I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
