Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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