I want to stick my p in your. b.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
