Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
