hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
