my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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