Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
