so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
