so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
