come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
