i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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