i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
