Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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