she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
please come you make the beer taste better
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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