Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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