oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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