What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
