I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
they're like a gay fantastic four
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We have so much sex to catch up on
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
