All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
