i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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