He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
