he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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