your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
