look no pants
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
