Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
