I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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