yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
