You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
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